Someone once told me in viewing a film, strangers are united.
People from different parts of the city come together and for those three hours you share laughs and opinions.
Release date (India): 1st October, 2010
Director: Anton Corbijn
Cast: George Clooney, Violante Placido, Thekla Reuten, Paolo Bonacelli
While we were driving to the film, a friend was waiting for us with the tickets.
The film started. There were a couple of murders. George Clooney was shown driving through a tunnel. The title credits were rolling. The frame changed. George Clooney was still driving.
So, we told our friend we had reached for the film quicker than George Clooney will ever reach the end of the film.
Q: “Have you ever wanted to be anything other than a priest?”
A: “Have you ever wanted to be anything other than a … photographer…?”
At this point we were wishing we were anything other than a film audience.
“I’m not good with machines!”, said George Clooney.
He should have just skipped next door to the Robot. He would have learnt a thing or two.
After all, Rajnikant isn’t good with machines. Machines are good with Raknikant.
“I’m taking photographs in the mountains!”
Yes, we saw that. The makers insisted on using the photographs for the screen-saver we witnessed in stead of the film.
The audience was getting restless. Someone suggested that there should have been subtitles. And I wondered how that would have made a difference. There was hardly any dialogue anyway.
George Clooney is shown to be making a gun. It’s a silencer.
Enough said on the subject of the ‘silencer’.
George Clooney is shown to unwrap a can of film.
It would have been easier had he just canned the film.
The song, (We no speak Americano by Yolanda Be Cool & Dcup) starts to play while George Clooney is sitting at a cafe.
As the film progresses, the car starts to look older.
A scene takes place by a lake. George Clooney is picnicking with a lady. He removes arms out of the picnic basket.
I wished they were serving arms at the canteen. The action would be much more thrilling when we would be shooting the screen.
In any case, the characters in the film are so frustrated. They go shooting in their spare time.
A butterfly comes and sits on a pretty lady’s arm. George Clooney stares at it. Earlier, he is shown reading a book on butterflies. He tells her the butterfly is endangered. She confers on him the title, ‘Mr. Butterfly’
Collective audience laugh
It’s the interval.
A commercial plays: “Yeh safar nahi suffering hai!”
The film resumes. Two actresses tell George Clooney they’re going to watch an ‘American’ film. Hannah was trying to learn English.
We perfected our English while watching ‘The American’. Only 20 lines in 2 hours and a sexy old teacher. Our Italian is going to the dogs though.
“What do you have my friend?”
The audience collectively and instinctively replies:
MERE PAAS MAA HAI
“I have to practise my English.”
Now we were getting protective of our English teacher, George Clooney. It seemed like everyone in Italy had zeroed in on him as their English tutor. We call dibs.
The film ends with a honk.
A sleepy girl in the theatre wakes up with a jerk and asks, ‘Is the film over?’ A huge uproar, laughs and claps follow.
My friend claims she wants her 280 Rs. back. Someone from the audience informs her that we all do.
It’s goodbye to Mr. Butterfly.
P.S. – An intimate scene has been chopped off from the film. A boy exclaimed that the entire film was in the scene. The censor board ruthlessly chopped it off and we were left with nothing to watch.
The extended title of the film could have easily been ‘The American in Italy’